Let's Talk about the pivot...

By TaVia Wooley-iles

I created a YouTube video about the PIVOT Method. You can check it out HERE. In this workbook, I will share the PIVOT Method, provide some examples, and walk you through identifying the way you can PIVOT and move in a direction that is more aligned with your life, or as I like to think of it, the PIVOT method will increase your BBA (Bounce Back Ability)

For context, I have used these steps in similar challenging times. Disclaimer: I am not saying this will work for every situation, or it will be super easy. However, I am saying that it is a great starting place to work your way out of the shit. I have used this method in the following life situations, divorce, losing a job, the death of a child, a horrible custody battle, and other, less traumatic problems.

This method has been used to train staff in various work environments, clients I have served in my communications business, and of course, with my tribe of friends. I sincerely hope that you find this framework helpful, providing you with some direction on how to PIVOT.

This method is more detailed than the typical goal-setting process. The current way most people will use to set goals is SMART GOALS. I love a SMART GOAL, but that’s not enough to support the actual goal achievement process.

The PIVOT Method incorporates elements of SMART goals. Still, it identifies the potential barriers that will prevent you from achieving the goal or task, as well as building the principles of building momentum and a slight variation of failing forward.

1. You must get into action, build momentum and allow yourself to be refined in the process. Nothing happens until you do something. The more you do, the more momentum you build (visualize the snowball at the top of the mountain and what it looks like when it reaches the bottom of the mountain)

2. You will not be perfect. You may even fail or do it poorly. Still, by doing and reflecting, you begin to improve and become refined and polished because of the “messy” and nonperfect work you have put in.

The Pivot method is simply a guideline, a starting point for many tasks, plans, and goals you want to achieve. Watch the video, download the workbook, and see what the PIVOT Method can do for you.

It was clear to me that we pivot. We prepare for the changes and get ourselves in a position for the opportunities that WILL come from this global pandemic. I knew Black women would need a safe space to learn how to pivot during this crazy time. I also knew I couldn’t do it alone, so I e listed the help of some phenomenal black women. Women I admire for their respective skills.

I sent out a call to action and cast a wide net to top-notch chics I knew within the state of California and beyond. I waited to see who would step up to the challenge of helping me create an online community for Black women to Pivot. Let’s dive into this for a moment. I have never been one to ask for help, but I knew this was bigger than myself, and I needed to put my ego aside. Unfortunately, I grew up believing that Black women could not work together. I didn’t know who needed to be a part of this team; I just knew there were key areas in which Black women would need support as they PIVOT. The act of me stepping out of my comfort zone and bringing beautiful black women together who were strangers to each other was a blessing and the favor of God.

Four women answered the call, and the Black Girls Guide to the Pivot was formed. In our first year of existence, we offered weekly lives, podcasts, and a virtual summit (before it was a thing). We poured our hearts into our online community. Our community grew, and we, as facilitators, received so much love and support. It was a perfectly reciprocated relationship between the community and the facilitators.

The Facilitators over the last two years have evolved and changed. We are thankful for the heart and soul they poured into these women. They will always hold a special place in this online community.

Today we are still going strong, we still have the podcast, and we have shifted our platform from a Facebook group to a website. We are setting ourselves up for the next iteration of the evolution of the Black Girls Guide to the Pivot. We are excited to have you in our corner of the internet, and we invite you to stay a while, let down your hair, kick off your shoes, grab some tea and get ready to PIVOT.

A little more than ten years ago I moved to an area of California called Palmdale. It was a much slower-paced area than I was used to, so sometimes I got a little bored.

My assistant Pastor nicknamed me L.A. and said we were opposites. He said that he was Palmdale and I was L.A because I was always on the go or looking to go. I was active in many different areas of our community and in my vacation life.

I understood what he meant, but I had places to be and things to do. Even when I was on vacation it was go time because I wanted to see a lot of things within a particular window of time.

Most recently, I spent 8 days in Jamaica with forty-three friends and family, all there to see my sister and my brother-in-law renew their vows for their twentieth wedding anniversary.

I told myself several times before leaving for Jamaica that I would be fully intentional about being Palmdale and L.A wouldn't ruin my time away.

The promise I made to myself meant that I would need to be mindful of my days on vacation, so that I wouldn't allow my mind to wander. It meant that I wouldn't ponder on the past or worry about the future.

Practicing mindfulness involves training your mind to focus on being in the moment.

I have to say that it wasn't easy because my husband and I had a lot going on at home. We had a new grand baby on the way with our youngest son, our eldest was hospitalized and our middle son was dealing with some mental health issues.

However, I CHOSE to stay faithful to me.

I set-up a time that I would call and check-in. I asked closed-end questions, and gave nurturing positive feedback to their responses so that I could receive the best information to allow me the time and space I needed to be Palmdale.

I knew that I was thousands of miles away and their wasn't much I could do if things felt apart anyway.

Well, I found out after each limited phone conversation that things didn't fall apart. I was okay, and so were my adult sons.

They were learning to STRUGGLE WELL and I was too.

On my flight home, I realized that not only had I succeeded in being Palmdale, I now had a sense of balance and a lower level of stress.

I share this with you because I want to encourage you to slow down, support your own well-being, and experience being Palmdale every once in a while.

When I tell people that I’m Certified in Applied Positive Psychology, nine times out of ten they ask, “does that mean you never feel negative? I respond with a simple “No.”

I am a human being first and foremost. I have struggles, mishaps, bad days and crappy weeks. However, the difference is that I utilize the practice of Applied Positive Psychology.

I use the term “practice,” because I believe there are some things that you can never fully master, but the power of this practice can change your life.

Applied Positive Psychology really helps me to self-regulate. It’s taken me some time, but I’ve learned that when I become aware of a bad behavior or habit, my practice allows me to open myself up to new ideas of how to handle my circumstances.

The most important part of this is learning to give yourself grace.

I heard a middle aged woman talking to her friend today in the grocery store and she was angrily expressing to her friend that she felt stupid regarding her situation. My heart went out to her because I know that we can be more critical of ourselves than other people can be toward us at times.

I didn’t comment on their conversation, but I said a simple prayer that she would give herself some grace after hearing the comment.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned that Positive Emotions can play an important role in coping with stress and life traumas. Speaking and thinking positive is the difference between looking at a situation and seeing a future filled with dark, stormy days or seeing yourself on the sunny side of the street. It doesn’t have to be a right now moment, but seeing it in your future can really uplift you.

Practicing Positive Emotions like joy, gratitude, hope and Inspiration can really set a fire under your feet. In my continuous practice, I realized that I now have a sense of confidence. control, and effective coping skills that I can utilize when times get rough.

Lesson learned:

The more I practice, the greater my feelings of well-being.